Well first full day of putting less in the mouth.

So here we go!! And yes this font is rather bright isnt it lol. I bought myself a gradual fake tan in order to at least feel slighttly more presentable than lily white. So far I dont see much difference except my knees you can tell on them!!. I have built into the first few days one glass of coke as we bought some on Friday so it has to be finished and I havent had coke for years. ONE GLASS is what I keep saying not the whole bottle in one hit. ONE GLASS is fine the bottle isnt. And for me this is the key. Overall my diet is pretty much ok Graeme went through it last night. And he said its not what you eat its the amount you shovel in. So before I get totally mean on myself I am goign to cut portion sizes first then cut the crap as well. Yes I know I should go the full hog at once however thats in the past when I have failed so I am taking the new approach of sizes and portions then cutting down the crap.

I at first thought I wont write in this everyday but have since decided nah I will. Write it all down something I have never done before. But if I leave it empty for days on end how am I being accountable to it. I AM NOT. So here I go.

On a positive note I restart Kindergarten Relief teaching this week. I can only do Fridays at present when my mum is able to look after the girls. I am excited about this and its one way where I will have to tackle my hiding head on. As relief teachers who get the work are the ones who throw themselves in with gusto and make impressions. I really want to make a career out of Relife Teaching as I can still have the flexiblity of time off to go away, time off when my chidlren are sick etc etc. Plus I really do love the whole concept of Kindergarten I am very passionate about it. So much so I even want to be on the board fo Governance for our local Association. Some would find that incrediable boring but I find it an exciting prospect.

So what else about me. I live for my husband and children. We have created a wonderful lifestyle for ourselves in our eyes. We had children a little later then I would have liked due to deciding apart from the mortgage we would start parenthood off debt free. So we lived on his wage and mine cleared all our debt. A great feeling. Everything is OURS. and WE did it. I was 28 when I had Olivia and then 30 when I had Emily. And for me this is perfect. I dont want the boy I dont want another child. I am happy with my two princessess.

We are now self employed with our own contracting business. This came about after Graemes parents decided to sell the business. We had a years notice of this so were able to get great expert help financially to work out where to go. Our accoutant has been invaluable here. He is also my brothers best friend so I trust him and know that he wouldnt lead us astray. We had thought we would buy a rural mail delivery run to the point where we almost made an offer on one but with his advice we find ourselves in the contracting business. And its working out great. We both contract to our company and it so far is working out great. We have nearly tripled our income from wages and that is ag reat relief in this economic climate. We put our freshly renovated house on the market thinking we want the big flash new house. Thank god it didnt sell. We instead embarked on a new adventure.

We joined up to the New Zealand motor and caravan assciation and bought ourselves a four berth mororhome. OH my god what pleasure it brings. We try to get away nearly every wheekend. Over winter was hard as it had no solar panel and only electric heating. So we have added LPG heating, solar panel, gas detector, new step, new awning, and a few other bits and bobs to how we want it. Its such a fantastic lifestyle. I couldnt live in our current motorhome full time far too small but for what we do its perfect. Its not flash its not run down its somewhere in the average middle. We have seen our next one though just need a lotto win!!!! The girls have grown in confidence at first they wouldnt talk to another person and hide in the motorhome now they have the guts to go visiting others and talk to them. We hope to create a lifetime of camping memories. We are about to put sat dish and freeview onboard as well as its decidely boring in winter when they are asleep sittin ghtere twiddling your thumbs!!! Not to mention cut off from the world so being able to see the news again and shorty street will keep me happy!! And the cartoons will keep Olivia happy Emily has no interest in TV.

So theres a bit about me. A bit more to the real me. The real me that is hidden away to most and only the cloeset friends know th e real me. The hidden away and opinionated person others see isnt really me its a front to keep you away and let me wallow in self pity at myself. And that is now going to stop. The real me will shine on out eventually. And I want that ME to be someone I am PROUD of. SO this is not only a weightloss journey its also a soul seraching, deep questionning finding Liz journey. And I want to be able to look back on it and reflect now and then.